I'm a married guy in his forties with three kids and a big mortgage. I'm also a Third Order Carmelite. Third Orders are one of the best kept secrets of the Catholic Church. Namely that most of its monastic orders have associations that lay folks can join in which they attempt to form their life around that particular order's spirituality. The Discalced Carmelites focus on contemplative prayer and the writings of St. Teresa of Avila and St. John of the Cross.